Brothers to the End
by Jedi Jesi Jiin
Summary: Sequel to "A Brother's Confidence". Han talks to Luke about Jacen's crimes against the Skywalker family.


**Brothers to the End**

**(Sequel to "A Brother's Confidence".)**

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_**A/N1**__**: **__I know that Mara died in the "Legacy of the Force" series. I timed this after "Apocalypse" on purpose._

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_**A/N2**__**:**__ I do not own Star Wars._

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_**A few weeks after 'Apocalypse':**_

Han Solo strolled purposefully through the corridors of the Jedi Order's new home on Shedu Maad. He kept his eyes forward, and his feet on track, determined not to lose his courage.

What he was going to do was perhaps the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. And Han feared that if he deviated even a centimeter from his course, he would falter and turn back. And if he did that, he'd find a million reasons to put this off for another time.

Always another time.

But Han knew that for this issue, there was no better time, nor could it wait any longer. He had been waiting for the chance to do this ever since Jacen's death. But the galaxy had had other plans, effectively forcing the Solos and Skywalkers into the next series of events and wars without any real chance to recover.

And now after the war with the Lost Tribe of the Sith and Abeloth, not to mention the civil war that had been raging on Coruscant between the Jedi and the populace, Han had come close to never getting the chance to do what he'd come here to do.

_No more putting this off, Solo._ Han ordered himself.

Han reached the correct door, and steeled himself. Holding his breath, he knocked. When no response came, Han bit his lip, then pounded the door again more forcefully. He was about to turn around and leave when he thought he heard something inside the room.

When the door finally opened, Han kicked himself for his impatience. He should've remembered that the Kid was injured, but in his agitated state, he'd all but forgotten.

"Han, it's good to see you." Luke Skywalker's pallid face offered a weary smile. "Come in."

Luke shuffled out of the way slowly, leaning heavily on his cane. Han tried to tell himself that it was a temporary crutch until Luke was stronger, but seeing his closest friend in such a condition was heart wrenching. Luke had always been so strong, such an anchor.

Han could still remember when he'd first seen Luke's unconscious and ravaged body after the fight with Abeloth. Han had never feared for his brother so deeply before in his life.

_Well, except maybe Hoth, that was cutting it pretty close._ Han thought.

Luke settled himself onto his small couch with a sigh, and Han tried not to stare at the two most prominent scars on Luke's bare chest, the largest of which was still bandaged.

Han frowned: Luke's hair looked wet, and he wore only a pair of pants.

"Did I catch you at a bad time, Luke?" Han inquired.

"Not at all: I was just getting out of the shower when you came." Luke waved in dismissal.

Han had to ask. "How was that experience?"

Luke lifted a wry eyebrow. "Interesting, to say the least. Who would have ever thought taking a shower would be so tiring?"

Han smirked, though his nerves still squirmed a bit against his will. Luke gazed at him, and Han knew the Kid must be sensing his agitation, but nor would he press the issue. Luke would never intrude on Han's privacy.

"Look, Kid…" Han started, wringing his hands.

But words failed him and he sighed, running a hand through his hair. To his gratitude, Luke offered an icebreaker.

"So, Jaina's getting married?"

Han flashed a smile that was both proud and strained. "Yeah. Makes me feel old."

Luke chuckled. "Wait until Ben settles down."

Han made a face. "Ugh! I'll be ancient by then!"

They shared a laugh, and then fell silent for a moment.

"I already gave Jag my blessing when I allowed him to propose, and I made my stance clear on how he would treat her." Han said, needing to get this off his chest as well. "But if he hurts her, he will have one hell of an angry father to deal with."

"I'll hold him, you punch." Luke offered.

Han's smile was genuine this time. "Deal, Uncle Luke."

Han gestured to Luke's chest. "How's the healing coming along?"

Luke was quiet for a long moment, and Han didn't like it one bit. "Kid?"

"I… it's a lot slower than normal, I'll admit." Luke said finally, not meeting Han's gaze.

There was something in his tone that gave Han pause. He frowned, trying to decipher Luke's normally serene face. It was clouded with a sense of constant pain and fatigue, but Han expected that. Luke _had_ pretty much lost one of his lungs after all. No one recovered from that in a hurry, Jedi Master or not.

But there was a different kind of pain, an old pain that had started around the same time Mara had died. Which brought Han back to the reason he'd come in the first place. But Luke seemed to have something on his mind that needed talking first.

Han moved over to sit beside his brother, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"What is it Luke?"

When Luke finally glanced at him, there were tears in his eyes.

"I was with her, Han." Luke's voice was barely audible. "At the end there. I was ready to go, and I was in her arms." Luke's voice broke with emotion as he glanced at his hands.

Han had to take a moment to realize what Luke was talking about. "You mean beyond shadows or whatever?"

Luke nodded wordlessly.

"With Mara?"

Another nod.

Han pursed his lips, puzzling it together when it hit him, and _hard_. He jerked his gaze to Luke, eyes wide with alarm.

"You were ready to die?" Han's voice was sharp, almost accusing, and Luke flinched. "You would leave Ben behind, just like that?"

Luke's flash of anger was so sudden that it frightened Han, and the Jedi was on his feet in an instant.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that I wasn't already dead?!" Luke hollered, tears streaming down his face. "Do you have any idea what the experience was like for _me_?"

It was Han's turn to flinch. Luke had held in so much grief and pain all this time, ever since he'd come to terms with the death of his wife. And now that he finally had an outlet, it was coming out in full force.

And as alarming as Han always found an irate Luke, he was also honored to know that Han was one of the rare few who Luke trusted enough to open up to in such a degree. What Han was witnessing now was Luke's soul laid bare.

"I had a gaping hole in my chest, and I was beyond exhausted, not to mention watching my back the entire time I was fighting alongside that Sith." Luke continued, he was trembling now, Han noted with alarm. "I collapsed the second I was certain that Abeloth was dead, and the Sith had retreated."

Luke started to pace agitatedly, running his fingers through his hair.

"I have been on a sort of autopilot since I lost…" Luke's voice wavered slightly. "Since I lost Mara… and if I hadn't had Ben to keep me anchored…" Luke grabbed fistfuls of hair. "Ben is the _only_ reason I got through that hell, Han. And yes, I _was_ ready to die! But I also knew that Ben still needs me. Hell, he's still a teenager Han!

"I understand now, why you and Leia were reluctant to have the kids train to be Jedi so young. I never should have pressured them into becoming Jedi." Luke shook his head, hands still firmly in place in his hair. "It's my fault, Han. All my fault!"

Luke suddenly sank to the floor, his pale face going even whiter. Han was beside him in an instant.

"Luke!"

But his brother continued. "I trained the kids. I sent Anakin to kill the voxyn; he died because _I_ sent him. I have never forgiven myself for that." Luke was crying harder now. "And I trained Jaina, who ended up killing her own twin. And then Jacen…. I trained him, and worse, I saw the signs of his darker self, but I practically shoved Ben into his arms anyway."

Luke snorted in derision. "I might as well have just said, 'Here Jacen, here is my only son, take him and twist him at will… turn him into a Sith at fourteen'."

Luke suddenly froze, and looked at Han in a panic. Han's face was drawn tight and rigid at Luke's last statement.

"Oh Force, Han!" Luke cried. "I'm sorry! I am so sorry!"

Han's heart cracked as Luke completely broke down in his arms. Luke sagged weakly against Han, who supported him without question, knowing that Luke had never once complained about the way Jacen had treated the Skywalkers. Luke had never held a grudge against Han, Leia or Jaina for Jacen's crimes. Luke had never taken his anger or torment out on his family.

And Han had no right to ask Luke to never feel those things… or to let them out.

So instead, Han cried with him, and they waded through this storm as brothers.

Han quieted first, Luke shortly after, and the two simply clung to each other for support. Han had to admit that he felt better emotionally. He was about to speak when the front door to the Skywalker apartment swung open and Ben Skywalker plunged through.

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but stopped cold at the sight before him. Han felt Luke tense in his arms, and watched as Ben's gaze went from Han to Luke's forlorn face.

Han shook his head wordlessly, and mouthed 'not right now'.

Ben seemed about to argue, but recognized that his father needed an outlet. Ben also knew that if Luke would let loose with anyone it would be Han… Han, who had been there from day one of Luke's life off the farm. Han was his closest friend, and had always been.

The young man nodded and left without a word.

Han waited until the door was securely closed before he glanced down at Luke. Luke's eyes were closed, and he was utterly drained and leaning greatly on Han for support. His breathing was labored and heavy, but Han knew that it was from his injuries as well as his emotional off-loading.

Han leaned his head against Luke's and spoke into his brother's hair as they remained where they were.

"I came here today because I realized I never really got the chance to talk with you about Mara's…." Han couldn't bring himself to say 'murder'. "I'm sorry Kid. I wish it hadn't been Jacen." This time Han's voice broke.

"Hell, Kid. Where did I go wrong?" Han asked quietly. "What could I have done differently? If I had been a better Father, do you think…?" Han broke off when Luke placed a shaky hand on his arm.

"Don't Han. You have been an amazing father." Luke said firmly. "Who do you think I modeled my own parenting skills after?"

Han started at that. "Not your Aunt and Uncle?"

Luke let his hand fall back down. "Them too, yes, but they were not there when Ben was born, or when I needed to comfort him, or discipline him." Luke took a breath. "You were my living example. I didn't have any siblings, so I never saw parenting second hand… until you and Leia started your family."

Luke smiled against Han's chest. "I learned a hell of a lot from you."

Han truly didn't know what to say, but guilt still wracked at him.

"But still, it was my son that killed Mara… and my son that tortured your son. How can you just forgive that?" Han demanded.

Luke struggled to sit up, and Han helped him, steadying the Jedi Master with one hand to the shoulder. Luke looked him in the eye.

"Han, do you remember what you told me when I said who my father was? Back on Endor, after the celebration?"

Han had to think for a moment. "That's a long time back, Luke." He quipped, eliciting a small smile from his brother.

Han nodded, then met Luke's gaze again. "I said that I didn't hate you, and that you weren't Vader."

Luke nodded. "And?"

"And you were not responsible for his choices, no more than I was for my father's decisions." Han finished.

"Yes." Luke covered Han's hand with his own. "I am inclined to believe that it works the opposite way as well. You cannot assume responsibility for the choices of your adult son, Han. And I do not blame you or the girls for them either. Nor would I ever take my anger out on you guys."

Han opened his mouth to retort, but shut it again. This was Luke. He would never lie about something of this caliber. If he said he forgave Han and his family then he meant it.

"You know, Luke, sometimes I don't deserve your friendship." Han sniffed, wiping at eyes that had misted again.

Luke smiled wearily, but Han saw the difference from earlier clear as day. Luke was lighter now for having vented, and Han sensed that the bond between himself and Luke had only been strengthened yet again.

_How did I ever doubt him? _Han wondered.

"No Han. I don't deserve yours." Luke insisted.

Han shook his head sardonically. "What a pair we two make, huh Kid?"

Luke had to laugh. "Yes. Both too stubborn for our own good."

"Hey, speak for yourself." Han snipped good-naturedly. "I ain't stubborn in the least."

"And nexus are vegetarians." Luke shot back dryly.

Han chuckled, and then realized Luke's eyelids were drooping seriously. "You okay, Luke? Really?"

"Yes, I am much better now." Luke smiled warmly. "Thank you Han, I needed that. And… thank you for not judging me."

Han punched Luke playfully on the arm, and then grimaced when the Kid winced. "Sorry, I forgot."

"No worries. It'll toughen me up." Luke made to stand, and had to pause on his knees.

Han got to his own feet, and offered a helping hand.

Luke gratefully took the proffered limb, and Han helped Luke to his bedroom, where the Jedi Master sank gratefully onto the mattress.

"Thanks." Luke sighed, laying his head back.

Han patted his arm lovingly, and turned to leave.

"Han?"

The older man turned back.

"Not that you should have to ask me for it, but I do forgive you." Luke offered gently. "There is nothing for me to forgive your family for… but I appreciate that you came here."

Han felt a weight lift from his chest. Knowing Luke forgave him was one thing, but hearing it aloud was vastly different.

"Thank you Brother. I love you." Han whispered, knowing the Jedi Master would hear.

"I love you too, Brother." Luke replied before closing his eyes.


End file.
